Am I still a mother if my newborn died?

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This First Person article is written by Fariya Walji, a lawyer and strategic director in Toronto. For more information about CBC’s First Person stories, please see the FAQ.

I’m lying on a moving gurney, staring up as bright hospital lights burn my eyes. A nurse that I have never met crouches over me, her hand inside me as we careen into the operating room. I introduce myself to her, joking that I don’t usually let people get so close without knowing their names. She laughs, but I see the apprehension in her eyes. A lump lodges in my throat. 

There is no

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